Why did the vulture leave the party?
Because he kept flying over the snacks!
What’s a vulture’s favorite food place?
The drive-thru on the road!
Why don’t vultures get lost?
They just follow the smell.
What did the vulture say to his crush?
“You look great!”
Why did the vulture bring a spoon?
He wanted to eat like a person!
How do vultures stay in shape?
They flap their wings a lot.
Why don’t vultures tell jokes?
They always sound serious.
What sport do vultures like?
Flying and diving!
Why is the vulture so calm?
Nothing bothers him much.
What did the vulture say at lunch?
“This food is perfect!”
Why don’t vultures write stories?
Their ideas go nowhere.
What music do vultures like?
Old songs from the sky!
Why are vultures bad cooks?
They don’t like to cook—they just wait.
What do you call a vulture in a suit?
A fancy bird!
Why did the vulture fail flying school?
He stopped too many times.
What do vultures do at parties?
They wait until it gets quiet.
Why did the vulture go to class?
To learn something new.
How do vultures send letters?
By flying with them!
Why does the vulture show up early?
He wants to be first.
What did the vulture say at dinner?
“I get the leftovers!”
What’s a vulture’s favorite game?
Hide and scream.
Why is the vulture so dramatic?
He waits for things to go wrong.
What movie does a vulture like?
“Gone with the Wind.”
What’s a lazy vulture called?
A bird on the couch.
What does a vulture write in its diary?
“Flew around. Ate. Slept.”
Why don’t vultures need alarms?
The smell of food wakes them up!
What do vultures dream about?
Lots of food.
What app do vultures use?
Deadbook!
Why did the vulture wear cool shades?
To look awesome while flying.
What’s a vulture’s favorite phone app?
One that shows food nearby.
What did the young vulture say?
“I want to fly like Dad!”
Why are vultures never angry?
They just wait and relax.
What kind of jokes do vultures like?
Dark and dry ones.
What did the vulture say on stage?
“I’ll just wing it!”
What’s a vulture’s best pick-up line?
“Are you lunch? You look tasty!”
Vulture Jokes One Liners
Vultures don’t hurry—they wait for food to come.
I saw a vulture at a picnic. It said, “No need to cook, I’ll wait.”
Vultures don’t worry about food—they eat what’s left.
If a vulture shows up, it’s time to pack your lunch.
Vultures eat slowly and don’t mind waiting.
When a vulture looks at you, the party might be over.
Vultures are good at waiting until it’s snack time.
Vultures don’t yell—they just stare.
Don’t play hide and seek with a vulture—it always finds you later.
Vultures don’t reply fast—they wait until you’re quiet.
A vulture’s flirty line?
“You look like a snack.”
Vultures don’t shop—they look for things left behind.
Vultures like to wait for the end of the story.
Vultures don’t play sports—they just watch.
A vulture joined the gym but only sat and stared.
Vultures like to sit in high places and wait.
Vultures don’t talk much—they make you nervous.
A vulture wakes up when it smells lunch.
Vultures don’t like fast food—it runs too fast!
Vultures love quiet and leftover food.
If a vulture smiles at you, don’t smile back—just leave!
Vultures don’t make meal plans—they wait and find it.
Vultures don’t rush—they wait until the last moment.
A vulture goes to parties just to watch it end.
Vultures don’t use maps—they follow the smell.
Vultures watch you until you stop moving.
Never ask a vulture for directions—it might be following you.
Vultures like scary movies—they think it’s about food.
That vulture kept looking at me—I must look sleepy.
Vultures don’t like cars—they scare away dinner.
Vultures are very quiet but always watching.
Vultures don’t talk—they wait their turn.
A vulture wants to be a food tester—for old stuff!
A vulture followed me—I guess I looked tired.
If a vulture winks at you, just walk away fast!
Best Vulture Jokes
Why don’t vultures hurry?
Because their food doesn’t run away.
What did the vulture say at lunch?
“I’ll wait—it’ll be ready soon!”
Why did the vulture bring a bag?
To pack leftovers!
Why is the vulture always relaxed?
It knows food will show up.
What game do vultures play?
Freeze tag—they’re good at staying still!
Why don’t vultures tell secrets?
They don’t want to spoil the surprise.
What movie do vultures like?
“Snacks After Sunset.”
Why did the vulture sit on the fence?
It was just hanging out.
How do vultures flirt?
They say, “You take my breath away!”
Why aren’t vultures invited to dinner?
They show up too late.
What did the vulture say at the joke show?
“I’ll laugh when it’s over.”
Why did the vulture fail driving?
It kept going in circles.
What job do vultures want?
Food taster!
Why was the vulture late?
It waited until things got quiet.
How do vultures stay fit?
They sit and wait a lot!
Why wear sunglasses?
To hide who they’re watching.
What dessert do vultures like?
Cold leftovers!
Why aren’t vultures funny?
Their jokes are too slow.
What does a full vulture say?
“No more bones, please!”
Why join a band?
They like loud music after quiet meals.
What’s a polite vulture like?
“Excuse me, are you done?”
Why are they patient?
They have time… lots of it.
Why at the gym?
Waiting for someone to drop something!
What books do vultures like?
Stories where people disappear.
Why don’t vultures work all day?
They like things after dark.
Favorite drink?
Flat soda—it’s soft and quiet.
Why not text?
They like quiet.
How do vultures greet each other?
“Still alive? Cool!”
What instrument do they play?
The organ!
Why do vultures like road trips?
They find snacks on the way.
Least favorite word?
“Fresh!”
Why not good at cards?
They give away the game.
What do vultures watch?
Dramatic shows with lots of twists.
Why read books?
They like endings!
What do vultures say to each other?
“Don’t worry, something will drop soon.”
Vulture Puns
I’m just flying around, like a vulture in the wind.
Let’s talk about it during lunch.
That was a great beak trick!
I’m thinking a lot—kind of like a vulture looking for food.
Just coming back around—like a vulture in the sky.
You’re such a good bird buddy.
I’m not picking favorites, but vultures are cool.
That idea was perfect—vultures would like it.
Don’t be so quick to fly away!
That joke flew right past me like a vulture.
I’m feeling grumpy—must be bird mood.
Tell me what you really think.
I’m just here for the leftovers.
Let’s talk again after we eat.
That was a really smart idea!
I like easy meals—just like vultures do.
I’m doing my best without a plan—just flying through.
Why run after food when you can wait for it?
You’re awesome, and I mean it!
This job feels like it’s just for birds.
No rush—I’ll jump in when it’s ready.
I’m just chilling like a vulture on a tree.
I’m serious—I love these snacks!
Let’s stretch out and take it easy.
Too tired to chase food?
I get it.
I can smell something tasty!
That’s a smart way to make your place nice.
I’ve got a good eye for things.
That’s not trash—it’s a tasty snack!
You’re really funny!
I’m a cool bird that always wins!
These jokes are wild—even if I’m not a raven.
Let’s just enjoy the weekend like lazy birds.
I don’t snack—I wait for the best bites.
You always make me laugh!
Short Vulture Puns
I came for the leftovers—yum!
That joke was so funny, I could squawk!
Just relax and flap your wings!
I eat what others leave behind.
You look great with that beak!
I’m not fussy—I’m just a little hungry.
I wait around until something drops.
I fly in circles, looking cool.
Let’s eat bones and smile!
You’re always my go-to feather friend.
I clean up messes—I’m helpful!
I show up right on time—every time.
I laugh at dark jokes.
I listen to drama while I snack.
I don’t date often—just leftovers.
Can’t decide?
Just fly around again!
I’m not lazy—I save energy.
I see everything from the sky.
Deadlines don’t scare me—I wait them out.
I may look creepy, but I’m chill.
I show up when the party’s really over.
I land when I’m ready.
I watch everything from above.
Road food is my favorite food.
I may be dark—but that’s just my feathers!
Oops—you dropped something! Mine now.
I eat after others leave.
If you’re slow, I swoop in!
I like quiet places to eat.
I always get seconds!
I don’t follow people—I follow smells.
My look?
Vulture-style.
Not all heroes wear capes—some have wings!
I love sad stories with tasty endings.
You make jokes—I bring the bones!
