Get ready to laugh with these Avocado Jokes That Are Guac-ing Hilarious! These jokes are fun, silly, and great for kids and adults. If you like avocados, guacamole, or just enjoy a good joke, you’ll love this list. So let’s have some fun and enjoy these tasty avocado jokes!
Avocado Jokes
Why did the avocado lift weights?
It wanted to be strong and tough!
What do avocados say on Valentine’s Day?
“You make my heart guac!”
Why did the avocado go see a doctor?
It had some weird feelings.
What’s an avocado’s favorite game?
Whack-a-guac!
Why don’t avocados get lost?
Because they always follow their seed.
How did the avocado win the race?
It ran super fast and didn’t stop!
Why was the avocado always calm?
It liked to stay chill.
What did the avocado say to the blender?
“Please don’t crush me!”
How does an avocado say sorry?
“I’m really, really guacful!”
Why was the avocado good at singing?
It always hit the right notes.
What do you call two avocados in love?
A cute couple!
Why did the avocado stay quiet?
It didn’t want to make noise.
What did the baby avocado say?
“I feel a little nervous.”
What exercise do avocados like?
They love working on their center!
Why did the avocado go to class?
To get smart!
Why did the avocado turn red?
It saw toast with no toppings!
What do you call a funny avocado?
A silly-cado!
Why don’t avocados gossip?
They don’t like being shared around.
What’s an avocado’s favorite movie?
“The Guac Boss!”
How did the avocado get a raise?
It worked hard and gave extra effort!
Why do people invite avocados to parties?
They’re fun and tasty!
What does an avocado do to relax?
Lay back and chill.
Why don’t avocados worry?
They stay cool inside.
How do avocados say hello?
“Have an avo-nice day!”
Why was the avocado smart?
It thought a lot about things.
Why didn’t the avocado answer the message?
It didn’t want to get too soft!
What sport do avocados enjoy?
They like to squash!
Why are avocados great at solving problems?
They get right to the center.
Why did the avocado dump the tomato?
Too much drama in the salsa!
What do you call an avocado that writes?
A soft-hearted poet!
How do avocados stay calm?
They take deep seed breaths.
What did the avocado say to the salad?
“Let’s mix things up!”
Why couldn’t the avocado dance well?
It kept slipping!
What does the avocado believe in?
“Stay ripe and be kind.”
Why did the avocado join the music band?
Because it can jam!
Meme Avocado Jokes
Me: I’ll save money now.
Also me: Buys 5 avocados that all ripen today.
Avocados be like:
“I’m perfect now… Oops! Too late.”
Avocados are like some friends:
Hard on the outside, weird in the middle.
I told my avocado to stay fresh.
It went bad anyway.
Avocado logic:
Buy today → hard
Wait → brown
Perfect time? Only 10 minutes!
Got avocados?
You better have chips ready too.
Me: I’ll eat it tomorrow.
Avocado: Too late. I’m mush now.
Can’t commit to anything—
Except guacamole with extra chips.
I didn’t ask for guac life.
It just happened.
In the store: hard
At home: soft and brown
Thanks, avocado.
Love fades.
Avocado toast stays awesome.
If I got paid for every ruined avocado,
I’d buy a house made of guac.
Avocados are always late or early.
Never just right.
Me: You feel ripe.
Avocado: “Haha! I’m brown inside.”
My relationship?
Just me and some tasty guac.
Never trust an avocado.
It will fool you every time.
I cut an avocado and it was perfect.
That’s my biggest win this year.
Timing an avocado is like defusing a bomb.
Too soon? Too late? Boom—mushy.
You can’t make everyone happy.
You’re not guacamole.
Me: Buys 4 avocados
Also me: Eats toast all week.
My feelings are like avocados—
Fine one minute, a mess the next.
Avocados are confusing—
Like my whole life right now.
I missed the ripe moment again.
Time to toss another one.
Being a grown-up:
Work, sleep, throw away brown avocados.
Every avocado ever:
“I was perfect—yesterday.”
If you’re not quick, avocados leave you behind.
Me: Waiting for the avocado to ripen.
Also me: Still waiting forever.
Me: Hope this one’s good inside.
Avocado: “Black spots for you!”
When an avocado is perfect inside:
It’s the best feeling ever.
Avocados should have timers.
“Eat now or it’s too late!”
I trust avocados less than I trust my alarm clock.
One perfect avocado slice = pure joy.
Found the perfect avocado today.
Should’ve taken a photo.
Me: Taps avocado like a pro
Still has no idea if it’s ripe.
Dear avocado,
Why you always go bad so fast?
Funny Avocado Jokes
Why did the avocado join the music group?
Because it wanted to sing and guac!
What music does an avocado like?
Anything with a nice beat.
Why did the avocado stop seeing the toast?
It needed time to be alone and ripen.
How does an avocado say something sweet?
“You make me guac with happiness!”
What did the sad avocado say?
“I feel all squished today.”
Why don’t avocados tell lies?
Because they like to be honest and fresh.
How do avocados decide things?
They listen to their seed feeling.
Why was the avocado late?
It got stuck in guac traffic.
Why did the avocado turn red?
Because chips were staring at it!
What’s a lazy avocado called?
A sleepy guac.
How do avocados stay calm?
They take deep pit breaths.
What movie do avocados enjoy?
The Adventures of Pit Man!
Why did the avocado join art class?
To learn how to paint and spread.
What did one avocado say to another during a fight?
“You’re being too much again!”
How do you calm a scared avocado?
Say, “It will be okay and soft soon.”
Why did the avocado take a ladder?
To reach the top of the shelf.
What does every avocado want?
To be famous and ripe.
Why did the avocado go back to school?
To become a guac expert.
What job do avocados dream of?
Being a toast model!
How do avocados write love notes?
With heart and mush.
Why was the avocado always so chill?
Because it liked to relax and spread out.
What did the little avocado say?
“One day I’ll be a big dip!”
What do you call a funny avocado?
A jokey-cado!
Why don’t avocados like fast dating?
They need time to ripen slowly.
What happens when two avocados hug?
They squish with love!
Why did the avocado dress up nicely?
Because it had smooth green style.
Why don’t avocados play hide and seek?
Because people always find them on toast.
What’s the avocado’s favorite dance?
The guac and wiggle!
What do you call an avocado at a party?
The dip everyone loves!
How did the avocado feel after exercise?
Very tired and squished!
Why was the avocado jealous of the tomato?
Because it’s always in salsa photos.
What do avocados do before bed?
They let go of stress and relax.
Why did the avocado start quiet time?
To stay peaceful and soft.
What do you call a rich avocado?
A guac-star!
Why did the avocado win a prize?
Because it was the most fun on the plate!
Avocado Jokes One Liners
I’m in love with avocado toast.
Avocados don’t hurry — they take their sweet time.
I trust avocados as much as I trust the weather — not much!
I opened an avocado today — no brown spots! Best day ever.
My favorite thing is extra guacamole.
I asked my avocado how it was — it said “squished.”
Avocados make plain toast feel fancy.
I work out just to eat more avocados.
I like soft avocados — but not too soft!
One day it’s hard, the next day it’s mush — classic avocado.
You can’t buy joy, but you can buy avocados.
If I could marry food, I’d pick avocado.
Toast without avocado is just boring bread.
Avocados are always changing — just like my mood.
Waiting for the right avocado is a risky game.
No talking until I get my avocado in the morning.
I’m not extra — just nicely ripe!
I only believe in two things: my mom and a fresh avocado.
All the avocado had to do was stay green!
If your avocado looks perfect, don’t wait — eat it now!
My best buddy lives in the fridge and is soft and green.
Avocados don’t have problems — they have big pits.
I didn’t want guac… until I saw chips.
I like my jokes and avocados the same — smooth and a little sharp.
This avocado is acting worse than my ex.
Nothing hurts like opening a bad avocado.
Avocados don’t grow old — they just go bad.
Whoever said money can’t bring joy never bought avocados.
Don’t wait too long — avocados won’t.
Avocados go from “not yet” to “too late” real quick.
If an avocado had a dating bio: “Soft heart, tough skin, spoils fast.”
Avocados teach us not to be lazy.
I found the perfect avocado. I almost cried.
You’re never too old for cartoons or avocado toast.
My fridge doesn’t trust avocados anymore.
Cute Funny Avocado Jokes
What did the avocado say to the toast?
“You make me happy!”
Why did the avocado smile at the spoon?
Because it was ready to be eaten!
What do you call two happy avocados?
A perfect pair!
How do avocados cheer up their friends?
They say, “You’re the best!”
Why was the baby avocado proud?
It grew its first little seed!
What toy do avocados like?
A soft squishy ball.
Why did the avocado get a hug?
It felt soft and needed love.
What do avocados do at sleepovers?
Tell jokes and laugh all night.
How do you know an avocado cares?
It shares its toast.
Why was the avocado everyone’s favorite?
Because it was so tasty!
What did the avocado say to the lemon?
“Please don’t make me sour!”
Why did the avocado go out with the tomato?
They make a yummy team!
What makes an avocado laugh?
Funny fruit jokes!
What’s an avocado’s favorite story?
“Goldipits and the Three Toasts.”
Why did the avocado wear a bowtie?
To look nice and fancy!
What subject does an avocado like?
Avocado facts!
How do you say something nice to an avocado?
“You look great today!”
What song does an avocado sing?
“Let’s dance and guac!”
Why don’t avocados watch scary movies?
They get scared too easily!
What did the avocado say to the chip?
“You go great with me!”
What’s an avocado’s hidden power?
Making food better!
Why did the avocado visit the doctor?
Its seed felt a little weird.
How do avocados say sorry?
With a kind little smile.
Why don’t avocados fight?
They like to be peaceful.
What music do baby avocados enjoy?
Soft sounds!
Why was the avocado feeling calm?
It had nothing to worry about.
What did the mom avocado say?
“Be kind and stay fresh!”
What makes an avocado shy?
Getting picked too soon.
Why did the little avocado go to school?
To learn letters and shapes!
How do avocados party?
With toast and fun!
What did the avocado write in its notebook?
“I felt soft and happy today.”
Why are avocados good buddies?
They never leave your side.
What makes an avocado smile?
Being with toast.
What do you call an avocado that dances?
A guac-dancer!
Why did the avocado take a nap?
It was tired from being loved all day.
Avocado Jokes And Puns
You make me smile like a bowl of guacamole!
I saw an avocado and said, “Let’s hug!”
That avocado party was the best in town!
I’m feeling happy in a silly guac way!
I told an avocado a joke — it laughed so hard, the seed popped out!
This avocado loves attention — it’s always doing extra!
I feel like dancing… let’s guac and roll!
Feeling sad?
Just eat some guacamole!
You go wild when there’s guac on the table!
My avocados always go bad when I need them most — how rude!
I tried to draw an avocado… it looked really bad.
Don’t trust an avocado — it changes fast!
Me and avocado?
We’re the perfect team.
I didn’t forget your birthday — I just got too full on guac!
Everyone has deep feelings… even avocados have pits.
He said he hates avocados — so I left.
This guacamole is so good, it should be a crime!
I might be eating too much guac — I can’t stop!
I’m not just good — I’m avocado good!
My avocado was perfect today — I had to take a picture.
The only drama I like is in my guacamole bowl.
You’re not plain — you’re full of flavor, like extra guac!
Love can fade… but guac is always awesome.
Don’t be scared to show you’re ready — just like a ripe avocado.
This avocado stayed calm under pressure — what a pro!
Avocados don’t cry — they just turn brown quietly.
You’re so nice — I totally love your smooth avo-style!
Bad days are better with green avocado mush.
That avocado’s jokes weren’t great — they were the pits!
I gave my toast a hug — it was full of avocado.
Avocados don’t disappear — they just spoil overnight.
If I got paid for every brown avocado, I’d be super rich!
Bread is boring… until avocado shows up.
Some people are kind — others are smooth like avocado!
You can’t make everyone happy — you’re not guacamole!
